


Lullaby

by ChromeEdwardian



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II
Genre: Anxiety, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-28
Updated: 2015-03-28
Packaged: 2018-03-19 23:52:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3628902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChromeEdwardian/pseuds/ChromeEdwardian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The last thing Anders needs is for a rainstorm to rouse him from his much-needed sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lullaby

When Anders woke up in the middle of the night, it was raining. He turned over onto his back and listened to it for a while, lingering in the peace that came with the absence of his patients or the gangs. He thought the sound of the rain would lull him back to sleep, but all it did was remind him of what he should be doing. 

So he slid out of bed, careful not to disturb Matilda next to him, and sat down at the desk. In the low glow of the embers of the fireplace, Anders took a long look at the room. What was he even doing here? Playing lord in a Hightown mansion in his fine nightclothes and his warm bed and his wonderful, _patient_ , lover, while there were more pressing matters. 

There was the mage underground, already in danger of falling apart, even with Ser Alrik and his plan destroyed, because nothing was happening. Elthina and Orsino, and the Templars who hadn't bought into Meredith's cruelty--if they existed--, they were useless. He and the others were beginning to scramble for ideas that might make this abominable stalemate budge, but at every turn, nothing. Distractions assaulted him with every breath. There were his patients down in the clinic, whom he'd had to leave alone tonight because he just couldn't stand one more night in his cot, tossing and turning at each potential Templar's footstep he heard. He should have hired help, but who could he trust that had both the skill to heal and the freedom--or the willingness to die for it--that would allow them to be at the clinic when needed? Anders thought of the woman coughing up blood, seemingly stable, or the person who was recovering from a recent surgery. He had set up wards to alert him when a patient needed his attention, but magic could always fail.

He rose from the chair, fully intending to go back down there. There was no time to sleep when there was too much to take care of. Matilda would understand. But the sheer burden of it all overwhelmed him, and Anders was left standing in the middle of the room nearly panicking, what ifs racing through his mind, and words giving way to frantic desperate keening. And suddenly, physical weariness hit him, but now his mind wouldn't quiet enough for him to fall asleep again. His eyes watered with frustration. 

_You'll get nothing done standing about_ , Anders thought to himself, knowing it came from Justice, and feeling all the more worse knowing he was being a fool about this. The spirit's direct interference with his thoughts had become less frequent, which Anders took to mean that they were on the right path. But even Justice knew when their human body was in danger of failing both themself, and everything they had worked for.

Anders balled his fists into his eyes. "I just. Need. To sleep." Wouldn't everything be fine? Logically, everything would be fine. Of course it would. He abruptly went out into the main hall of the mansion, hoping to walk some of his anxiety off.

And then he was curled up tightly on the floor before the big fireplace. The deep pile of the rug impressed into his face. He saw Orana pussyfooting around him to put more wood on the fire.

And it was morning.

The warmth of the fire slid over his bare torso, which he appreciated as he tried getting up only to feel every stiff joint in his body protest. There was a vague impression of satisfaction at the back of his mind, and it became clear that Justice had had pity on him.

"Oh," Orana squeaked, when Anders sat up. "Good morning, messere. Should I tell Mistress Hawke...?"

Anders cracked his neck, saying, "Thank you, no."

"She's at breakfast if you want to see her. And there's a place set for you."

He went down to the dining room, draping a blanket from the library over his shoulders and came upon everything the way it was supposed to be. Matilda arguing with Leandra and holding out her hand for Anders to take, Regent following Bodhan around waiting for him to drop something to eat, the blue sky streaming in through the windows, devoid of any of the dust and mold and misery that accompanied Darktown light.


End file.
